Brief Bomber

WASHINGTON D.C. President Obama had a meeting with the top intelligence officials yesterday. He said that mistakes were made in not connecting the dots and that they had to do much better at sharing intelligence. When criticized by GOP lawmakers, he reminded them that since there was an intelligence breakdown, he had a free pass to invade any Middle Eastern country of his choice.

How to acheive power in America

The American electorate is complex. It is hard to find a common denominator to include all demographics. But there is one thing that Karl Rove found that could cross all ideological lines in order to divide this country and conquer it. And that is hate. Hate the government. Hate the "liberals". Hate the "illegals". Hate the minorities. Hate the "jihadis". They're coming to get us. Don't think, don't use common sense, just hate.

Why are we in Afghanistan?

(View at http://www.doctordsworld.blogspot.com/) Two reasons. Uzbekistan and Turkmenistan. Oh, and the failures of the Bush administration in the global energy market. Turkmenistan broke away from the Soviet Union in the 90s and both are sitting on large reserves of natural gas. If you look at the map you can see that they are nestled between the Caspian Sea and the Tien Shan of western China--completely land-locked with the Caspian Sea blocking a pipeline route to the west. Also on the map are India, China and Russia. These are huge, hungry energy markets; China and India more so than Russia, though they want the gas to sell to Europe. The energy in Uzbekistan and Turkmenistan can go one of three ways: north to Moscow, east to China through Kazakhstan, or southwest to India. The route southwest to India goes through Afghanistan and Pakistan.

The US also wants this energy, not to power our plasma TVs, but to develop and sell to India--a bit of colonialism showing through our facade. And I don't mean to say that Americans would benefit at all from this, but the big oil corporations and their stakeholders would. The dubster basically blew that up with the first bomb dropped on Iraq to get Exxon-Mobil and Haliburton into the mix there, and finished it off with Darth Cheney's infatuation with bombing Iran, which could be related to his wanting to salvage some gas having lost out to Putin and China in other markets. Huge, permanent bases in Iraq would help us force our way into the market. Or it could just be that he is a dick.

Moscow has cozied up to Iran, and they have locked up a lot of the Asian gas market, but their state-run energy conglomerate, GAZPROM, has made Turkmenistan angry and it looks like China will get the bid to develop the fields there. Turkmenistan is lucky that China is such a huge player or Putin would probably roll out the tanks like he did in Georgia.

If the US were to stick to the MO of the Cold War, we would usher the Taliban back into power in Afghanistan, simply because they would rule with and iron fist and the pipeline plan would be safe--they have been known to respond to monetary incentives. Many on the right supported this in the past, the Tliban's support of al Qaeda not withstanding. We have frankly never really cared who runs a country as long as we get what we want (e.g., the Shah of Iran, Panama's Manuel Noriega, and Pinochet in Chile). Case in point is the fact that we completely ignored the brutal rule of Islam Karimov in Uzbekistan for the past decade.

So why are we in Afghanistan now? I'm not entirely sure. It could be because Jesus wants us to shoot insurgents and prop up an opium kingpin who rigs elections. It could be because military contractors and double-dipping generals are forcing Obama's hand. It could be that Obama really believes in the security angle and wants to prevent al Qaeda from rebuilding there. Or it could be that somehow they all still think that the pipeline to India will be built and our version of the East India Company will reap great profits. It's really hard to say.

Spreading freedom and giving every Afghani kid a puppy is a warm fuzzy for sure, but our soldiers are there because of the real prize: Asian natural gas.

Fake News

In a shocking development, doctors have determined that former president George W. Bush was actually not in a coma from 2000 to 2008. Apparently he was conscious the whole time. Doctors are debating how the diagnosis was mistaken.

And, ex-part-time Alaska Governor Sarah Palin and her sidekick Quiet Todd have been touring the country in order to give the 24-hour news channels something to do while not providing a soap box for right-wing pundits to berate the president.

New jobless claims have dropped sharply in November amid increases in sales of Soylent Green.

Hu’s on first. The president of China is now going to send their premier to Copenhagen to the Climate Change talks, and has announced drastic cuts in emissions. He said through an interpreter, “Mr. Obama’s deep bow showed me that he will not bring dishonor to his family. Now we must stop f#@$ing up the planet.”

In today’s ironic moment, polar bears who no longer have an ice floe, have descended on Wasilla, Alaska and have eaten Sarah Palin.

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Giving thanks

I'm thankful for many things. But today, on the Thanksgiving Holiday, when we worship the Great Gobbler, I am thankful that I didn't run over that squirrel on my road bike. It wasn't too cold, and we were going to have the big dinner on Friday when the kids would be over, so I went out for a quick 20 miles. All the squirrels were out packing up their nuts for the winter, and one ran right out in front of my skinny road bike tire. I didn't try to miss him--I actually aimed for him--but at the last second he darted away and lived to eat my garden next spring.

And thinking back I'm thankful that my tire didn't split him in two, because later I would have felt bad that I killed a squirrel and didn't eat him. So I would have taken a piece of my turkey and carved it to look like a squirrel--the deep crease through his mid-section and all. And Di would have asked me what in the world that thing was on my plate, maybe a gopher? And I would have replied that it was the squirrel that I killed in effigy. She would ask me if it grossed me out, eating a rodent shaped piece of meat with stuffing glued on with gravy to simulate fur; cranberry sauce depicting the injury and peas for eyes. I would say that with gravy, he actually tastes pretty good. Remarkably like turkey.

So it's good that I missed him and got to eat my turkey like I normally do. And that's something to be thankful for.

Representative democracy?

So at this point in the healthcare debate, there are three senators that are key to the Democrats: Nelson, Lieberman and Lincoln. They will control the debate and will most likely kill any public option (supported by more that 55% of the voting public). But just who put these three in office? How many Americans do they represent?

Nelson: Nebraska. Population: 1.7 million; 5 electoral votes

Lincoln: Arkansas. Population: 2.8 million; 6 electoral votes

Lieberman: Connecticut. Population: 3.5 million; 7 electoral votes
Total: 8 million people,  18 electoral votes
Entire U.S.: 304 million people, 538 electoral votes (2008)

A breakdown:
Percentage of U.S. population, electoral votes:
Nebraska: 0.56%, 0.93%
Arkansas: 0.92%, 1.12%
Connecticut: 1.15 %, 1.3%
Total: 2.36%, 3.35%

Good to know that the people of Nebraska, Arkansas and Connecticut, or at least the stiffs they put in office have so much power over the shape of our future healthcare system.